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MATT McMullen’s (Not Simply Sex) Dolls

Um, well, uh…


This is awkward.

I don’t know where to start.

I’m going to quote Ryan Gosling, not because he is an authority on anything art or psychological, but because, well, what he says makes sense.

Regarding his character Lars, from Lars and the Real Girl, Gosling had this to say:

It became romantic to me about this guy who loves, and makes this choice to love and doesn’t need to be loved in return, doesn’t compromise his hopes to be with someone. He just has all this love to give and he gives it.

I do realize that most of my posts seem to center on the notion of love (or feeling of love), but, as Matt McMullen makes apparent in the video, these types of dolls are not just for any guy looking for a new way to masturbate (which is, apparently, not spelled masterbait).

Indeed, one particularly well-documented doll, Sidore Brigitte Kuroneko, has Myspace and Twitter profiles (she “loathes” Facebook). She also maintains a blog called Shouting to Hear the Echos, and a tumbler account called Synthetik Week End. She is very real, with a very real personality and very real demands.

Asked what she expects from a significant other, she replied:

I would expect a metric ton of love, care, and attention. You’d have to know how to attend to my needs as a Doll, as well as as a partner. You wouldn’t have to focus on me 100% of the time, but I would expect you to not lock me up in a crate or closet when you were ‘done’ with me. I’d require a powder-down and a massage once a month, a fair amount of photography (as I like to show off), and loads of lovely kisses. My demands are few ;-)

Alas, Sidore is taken. In fact, she has been in a relationship with a man named Davecat for upwards of six years. According to Davecat:

She makes me happy cos she’s beautiful to look at, fun to photograph, an extraordinary listener, and o-so-nice to snuggle with. And, might I add, the sex is stunning as well.  Seeing as that it’ll probably be a long time until fully-autonomous, fully-functional Gynoids are available for purchase, in the meantime, I’ll simply enjoy the company of my little RealGoth -– she makes sure I’m never lonely.

Davecat’s sentiments are indicative of the Real Doll subculture as a whole. In her article “Just Like a Woman,” Meghan Laslocky notes that one cannot help but ‘to understand that behind every Real Doll is a man with a reason.”  That reason, as Davecat so eloquently puts it, is to make “sure [they are] never lonely.”

Though at first, my reaction was to scoff and laugh, to ridicule the $6,000 price tag, to label the subculture as freakish and psychotic, I now see the truth behind it.

We all fill the void of loneliness somehow. Some of us take to the seedier parts of our towns with one-dollar bills in hand; some find God; some write; some compose; some look to the internet; some buy real dolls.

Those who buy real dolls are those who simply have, as Sidore aptly said, “a metric ton of love” to give. They want to love unconditionally, and they don’t ask for anything in return for it. It is a transparent love; it is an all-encompassing love; it is, perhaps, love in its purest form.

There is nothing strange or psychotic about that.

As for me, well, I just stick with writing. Unless, of course, McMullen comes out with a Zooey Deschanel prototype, then I might be taking out a small loan.


Scott Warfe

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